BeeVeePublications

“I had an assignment in class today…a sort of surrealist thing in which to write faster than you could think in hopes of releasing a stream of consciousness.”

I’m going to follow her example. I really liked that idea and I feel like it’ll help in my time of stress and grief.

“The clock continues to tick and my mind continues to throw thoughts around like they’re nobody’s business. Why won’t it stop?? Time is precious, so why isn’t it stopping for me?? Can’t I push a rewind button on the recording of my life?? I feel like I’m falling in a sea of unknown qualities. It’s not fair. No one deserves that. How could I even try to understand what they’re going through?? My life seems perfect to everyone else, I’m the girl who always has a smile on her face, so why can’t I produce one now?? Why can’t they tell my laughs are fake??

Last night I fell asleep with the light on and the phone by my side, it didn’t matter that no one would call to take my mind off of everything. It didn’t matter that no one would come in to bug me about going to bed. It didn’t matter that no one could give me extra time to pour my soul and feelings into my closest friends. The friends I can never see in real life, the friends who have been there through some crazy times, the friends who care when nobody else does, the friends who notice me when everyone else ignores me and turns their backs… A tiny screen holds all my emotions, all my words, all my life.

I wish more people could understand. I don’t have an addiction to the computer, to the internet, to YouTube, to the Jonas Brothers, not any of that… I have an addiction to the relationships I’ve made because of those things. I feel the paranoia seeping into my empty void. I feel the emotions of the past four years of my life falling from behind clenched eyelids in the form of the saltiest, most painful teardrops.

I can’t pour my heart into music because it all reminds me of everything I’m attempting to run away from. Who am I, what am I, how can I not know these things?? Do I really matter to them as much as they say or am I just another thing that they can talk to, waste their time with, push around however they wish?? I have a heart, too, and it’s already been broken. It was stapled and glued and taped together again and again, but now it’s back to hanging on by a thread.

Nothing else matters because I can’t breathe, I can’t see, I can’t feel, I don’t know. The worst time in my life came at the worst possible time. Nobody knows, nobody can help… Why?? Because I have to help them first, I can’t let my friends suffer. I’m supposed to be strong for them, I can’t let them see me break. I can’t let them see me fall. I can’t let them be the ones to slam me into the ground. But it continues to happen and they don’t care.

They don’t see, they don’t feel, they don’t know. They think they understand, but they don’t. A girl called “Smiley” should never be sad, but it’s true. I am. And I don’t know what to do. Turn it around and make it positive, right?? Well, that makes sense to me, but I don’t think I can do it. I don’t think it’ll get better. I’m falling further and faster than ever before. I can’t place my feet on the ground because it’s fallen out from beneath me.

I’m crying out for help inside, but they don’t even care. The don’t want to have more burdens on their plates because their boyfriends/girlfriends just broke up with them. Who cares?? Life is too short and too precious to throw away on such petty things. Why do you put so much time and energy into something that’ll just die?? If it doesn’t die, someone will find a way to pick it up, squish it, crush it, throw it, whatever they can do to make themselves look better than you. It doesn’t matter anymore, nothing does.

The life I thought I knew is gone and nothing is recognizable anymore. I say I can help, I say I wanna help, but I can’t say I need help. I don’t want help. If I break, who will be there for the ones that are already broken??”

Yeah, I’m stopping, I could prolly go on for hours, but I don’t wanna divulge my whole life story to anyone, sorry… Toodles!

-Bee-

“Reviews for Cloverfield have been all over the board, ranging from amazing to terrible. It seems as though this movie left many peope with mixed emotions. With the exception of the ending and lack of major plot, the move was very unique and beautifully created. 

Anyone that went to see Transformers last summer saw the trailer for a movie with no title. It was a shaky, home video at what seemed to be a going-away party. The power went off in the room and there was a strange rumbling outside. The characters went out to the roof, trying to see what the problem was when there was a huge explosion.

Everyone started running around, trying to escape falling debris, the camera caught everything on film as the head of the Statue of Liberty came tumbling to the ground. Then, it was over, the only thing we knew about the movie was the producer was JJ Abrams and it would be in theatres 1-18-08.

Up until mere weeks before the release of the movie, many different names were speculated for the film. Cloverfield was one of the many rumored titles and was soon discovered to be not only the title of this creature feature, but also the name of the freeway exit and airport near Abrams’ Santa Barbara office.

The first person view through the camcorder made it more intense, more real. It also added the appeal that viewers could easily connect with, seeing it through the eyes of a character.

As the movie slowly unfolded, viewers were strategically shown parts of the monster that dominated the film. The viewers are exposed to legs, a tail and spider crab like creatures that fell off of the monster in torrents. These creatures would pursue the humans on foot and attack them. Their bite caused ghastly bleeding from numerous orifices and certain death. All this led up to the big unveiling of the monster’s true form near the end of the movie as the heroic characters try to flee the city.

The idea for the monster sprouted from a trip Abrams took with his son to Japan to promote his film Mission: Impossible III. They were in a toy store and saw many rows of Godzilla toys and Abrams decided that he wanted to create an American monster that was more terrifying than any other before.

Events in Cloverfield reference 9/11 with billows of smoke chasing after the people in the streets as the Empire State Building collapsed to the ground and the promotional poster for 1981’s Escape From New York with the head of the Statue of Liberty lying in the streets of Manhattan, even though it did not make it into the film itself.

Everyone can probably admit that the ending was far from what is desired for the characters, even though it is the most realistic way to end the film. Without giving too much away for people that have not seen the movie yet, the ending is what leaves viewers with mixed emotions. All in all, the movie was executed very nicely and grossed a whopping $51 million opening weekend worldwide, something that statistically does not happen with films that are released in January. January is said to be the “dumping ground for bad movies,” so many were shocked to see that the film brought in so much revenue at the box offices.

Even if someone has already ruined the entire plot of the movie, everyone should take the time to watch it for themselves. This movie is worth the money viewers spend to see it and it completely loses the ultimate effect without the big screen, booming bass, dark theatre and audience reactions to get the blood pumping. A little tip for people that go to see the film, stick around for the end of the credits and be on the look out for mysterious things throughout the movie.”

What’d you think?? You heard it first, now you’ve read it for yourself. Leave a comment letting me know what y’all think. I’ll be posting more of my newspaper articles as times progresses. :] Toodles!

-Bee-