BeeVeePublications

Again, I must apoplogize for the late post. Wednesdays and Thursdays will almost always be late posts, just know that now. Today’s been a really hard day for me, so I just hope that whatever I’m about to blog about will help me as well as others that read it, too.

Now I am going to share letter number 13 with you guys! :] Only 2 more letters after this one, so I hope you enjoy what I’m blogging about and the things I have to say. Even though I’m only 17, I think I can still teach people a thing or two about their faiths. :]

The Thirteenth Letter: I am sorry to see you suffer so long. What gives me some ease and sweetens the feeling I have about your griefs, is that they are proof of God’s love for you. See your pains in that view and you will bear them more easily. In your case, it is my opinion that, at this point, you should discontinue human remedies and resign yourself entirely to the providence of God. Perhaps He waits only for that resignation and perfect faith in Him to cure you. Since, in spite of all the care you have taken, treatment has proved unsuccessful and your malady still increases, wait no longer. Put yourself entirely in His hands and expect all from Him.

I will help you with my prayers, poor as they are, and shall always be yours in our Lord.

I told you in my last letter that He sometimes permits bodily discomforts to cure the distempers of the soul. Have courage. Make a virtue of necessity. Do not ask God for deliverance from your pain. Instead, out of love for Him, ask for the strength to resolutely bear all that He pleases, and as long as He pleases. Such prayers are hard at first, but they are very pleasing to God, and become sweet to those that love Him.

Love sweetens pain. When one loves God, one suffers for His sake with joy and courage. Do so, I beseech you. Comfort yourself with Him. He is the only physician for all our illnesses. He is the Father of the afflicted and always ready to help us. He loves us infinitely more than we can imagine. Love Him in return and seek no consolation elsewhere. I hope you will soon receive His comfort.

As always, we see more of keeping God in our lives always. Without Him, nothing can heal us from the sicknesses of this world. As I read that letter a song came to me just like yesterday. This time it was a song we sing at my church…

“Nobody fills my heart like Jesus,
Nobody thrills me like you do!
Oh, nobody fills my heart like Jesus!
Nobody, Lord, but You!” - “Nobody Fills My Heart Like Jesus”

And I can’t stop thinking about how true that is. Like I said in yesterday’s post, nothing on this earth could even come close to satisying me like Jesus does. I encourage everyone to pray that God will take hold of their lives and cure them from all the illnesses of this world. No medicine will help us, so we must give it over to Him. Toodles!

-Bee-

Hello everyone that doesn’t read this. :P Sorry this post is later than usual… Daniel came over and then American Idol came on. :] Onto the next letter!

The Twelfth Letter: If we were well accustomed to the practice of the presence of God, bodily discomforts would be greatly alleviated. God often permits us to suffer a little to purify our soul and oblige us to stay close to Him.

Take courage. Offer Him your pains and pray to Him for strength to endure them. Above all, get in the habit of often thinking of God, and forget Him the least you can. Adore Him in your infirmities. Offer yourself to Him from time to time. In the height of your sufferings, humbly and affectionately beseech Him, as a child to his father, to make you conformable to His holy will. I shall endeavor to assist you with my poor prayers.

God has many ways of drawing us to Himself. He sometimes seems to hide Himself from us. But faith alone ought to be our support. Faith is the foundation of our confidence. We must put all our faith in God. He will not fail us in time of need. I do not know how God will dispose of me, but I am always happy. All the world suffers and I, who deserve the severest discipline, feel joys so continual and great that I can scarcely contain them. I would willingly ask God for a part of your sufferings.

I know my weakness is so great that, if He left me one moment to myself, I would be the most wretched man alive. Yet, I do not know how He could leave me alone because faith gives me as strong a conviction as reason. He never forsakes us until we have first forsaken Him. Let us fear to leave Him. Let us always be with Him. Let us live and die in His presence. Do pray for me, as I pray for you.

Again, we see the pattern of making God a consistent factor in our lives. It is through Him and for Him that we live, of course. Without Him, our shepherd, we would be like lost sheep out in the “pastures” of this foreign world. As I read this letter written by Brother Lawrence, I was reminded of the verse in Hebrews that talks about God disciplining us because we are His children.

“And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as children? It says,

‘My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his child.’

Endure hardship in discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined - and everyone undergoes discipline - then you are not legitimate children at all. Moreover, we have all had parents who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! Our parents disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God discilpines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:5-11 (TNIV)

Connecting that verse with the letter above, we can tell that whatever hardships God puts in our lives are there for a reason. Whether it is to discipline us or to assist our spiritual growth, God will always have a way for our future through those hardships. And thinking about the passage in 1 Corinthians where it is explained that God allows us to go through hardships for he believes we can handle them brings me great comfort.

“So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to us all. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:12-13 (TNIV)

Not only is it comforting to know that God places so much courage and strength in my mind, heart, and soul, but it is also quite flattering to think that God has so much faith in my spiritual strength, that he will put me through the trials I have experienced. I’m not trying to say that my life has been like that of an Egyptian slave under Pharaoh’s rule, but I have definitely been down a few roads that 17 year olds should not have to travel.

Going back to the notebook I received at the Ladies’ Silent Retreat, I read a passage from the Psalms that greatly encouraged me.

“For you created my inmost being;
you knit be together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.” Psalm 139:12-16a (TNIV)

Below this passage was a personal response to it from an excerpt of the book Into God’s Presence by Liz Babbs, I really liked what it had to say.

“Thank you, Lord,
for cutting and weaving
for that first umbilical knot
you were shaping
and forming
all that I was to become.

Thank you, Lord,
for the ups and downs
the unders and the overs
you were weaving
beauty and purpose
into my life.”

To close out this blog, I would like to recall one other thing that showed significance to me as I read through the letter and as I posted those scriptures. As I was putting this blog together, a song started running through my head, here are the specific lyrics I kept hearing.

“‘Cause when I’m weak, You make me strong
When I’m blind you shine Your light on me
‘Cause I’ll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don’t need me
How amazing to find that you want me
So I’ll stand on Your Truth, and I’ll fight with Your Strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me.” - “In Me” by Casting Crowns

Seriously, how incredible is it to think that God wants us?? I love the idea of being wanted by my one true Father, what else on this earth can possibly come close to satisfying me like He does?? Thanks for reading, toodles!

-Bee-

I know I keep going on about Senior Sunday, but I must put up the wonderful farewell letter and poem Daniel and Kaley wrote/read for me! It’s so sweet and the poem made me cry. :] (In a good way, of course.)

Farewell letter/poem:

Brittany,
We are truly blessed to have such a faithful and encouraging friend in our lives. Together we have grown stronger from the difficulties we have faced and more blessed with the laughter we have shared. We have gotten to see you grow so much in your faith. Every day you go through, your love for God gets stronger. You have become a great role model for many people in the Youth Group. We are always reminded of the poem of the “Footprints in the Sand” because every hardship and problem you have been through, you were never afraid to ask for help and let God carry you to better times. Now that you are going off to [Abilene Christian University] we know that your faith and strength in God will only flourish and form you into an amazing person. We know that God will work through you to touch several likes using whatever you do. Your smile always brightens up a room and your hyperness will make anyone smile. We are looking forward to seeing your relationship with God grow and to see how he works through you. We’ll all miss you in the Youth Group, but good luck at ACU. You will ALWAYS have a special place in our hearts that nothing could ever take away. Thank you for letting your light shine no matter what; through thick and thin. We love you.

“My Best Friend”

“Today I found a friend,
Who knew everything I felt.
She knew my every weakness,
And the problems I’ve been dealt.

She understood my wonders,
And listened to my dreams.
She listened to how I felt about life and love,
And knew what all it means.

Not once did she interrupt me,
Or tell me I was wrong.
She understood what I was going through,
And promised she’d stay long.

I reached out to this friend,
To show her that I care.
To pull her close and let her know,
How much I need her there.”

Thank you SO much for the sweet letter/poem and I’ll cherish it always. :P Now, onto the continuation of the “Practice of the Presence of God” letters written by Brother Lawrence.

The Eleventh Letter: I do not pray that you may be delivered from your pains; but I pray earnestly that God gives you strength and patience to bear them as long as He pleases. Comfort yourself with Him who holds you fastened to the cross. He will loose you when He thinks fit. Happy are those who suffer with Him. Accustom yourself to suffer in that manner, and seek from Him the strength to endure as much, and as long, as He judges necessary for you.

Worldly people do not comprehend these truths. It is not surprising though, since they suffer like what they are and not like Christians. They see sickness as a pain against nature and not as a favor from God. Seeing it only in that light, they find nothing in it but grief and distress. But those who consider sickness as coming from the hand of God, out of His mercy, and as the means He uses for their salvation, commonly find sweetness and consolation in it.

I pray that you see that God is often nearer to us and present within us in sickness than in health. Do not rely completely on another physician because God reserves your cure to Himself. Put all your trust in God. You will soon find the effects in your recovery, which we often delay by putting greater faith in medicine than in God. Whatever remedies you use, they will succeed only so far as He permits. When pains come from God, only He can ultimately cure them. He often sends sickness to the body to cure diseases of the soul. Comfort yourself with the Sovereign Physician of both soul and body.

I expect you will say that I am very much at ease, and that I eat and drink at the table of the Lord. You have reason. But think how painful it would be to the greatest criminal in the world to eat at the king’s table and be served by him, yet have no assurance of pardon. I believe he would feel an anxiety that nothing could calm except his trust in the goodness of his sovereign. So I assure you, that whatever pleasures I taste at the table of my King, my sins, ever present before my eyes, as well as the uncertainty of my pardon, torment me. Though I accept that torment as something pleasing to God.

Be satisfied with the condition in which God places you. However happy you may think me, I envy you. Pain and suffering would be a paradise to me if I could suffer with my God. The greatest pleasures would be hell if I relished them without Him. My only consolation would be to suffer something for His sake.

I must, in a little time, go to God. What comforts me in this life is that I now see Him by faith. I see Him in such a manner that I sometimes say, I believe no more, but I see. I feel what faith teaches us, and, in that assurance and that practice of faith, I live and die with Him.  

Stay with God always. He is the only support and comfort for your affliction. I shall beseech Him to be with you. I present my service.

Wow, how powerful is that?? To think that God brings suffering upon us and he is the only one that can cure it. Not because the medicine isn’t correct or because it isn’t enough, but because he wants us to rely on Him to save us from our afflictions.

And continuing with the pattern of the previous letters… ALWAYS keep God on your mind, your heart, and your soul! That is the only way for any of us to dwell with Him in eternity. We are “heirs to His promise” and nothing/nobody can change that expect ourselves. Remember that and seek Him in everything you do. You must “take up your cross daily and follow Him”, only then will our lives be complete.

Thanks for reading again today. Lemme know what you think. :] Toodles!

-Bee-

Remember how I said it was Senior Sunday at my church today?? Well I got a boatload of presents and the letters my parents wrote me were totally awesome. Wanna read them?? Here you are. :]

From the Mom:

“Dear Brit (BeeVee),
It seems just yesterday you were born and it was the first time I had held you in my arms. You were then our true Drama Queen starting with the crazy calamity of your birth. You are our youngest of three and the last bird to leave the roost. You have taught and shown me true perseverance and patience in achieving your goals. A good example is how you did not give up on Bible Quiz in LTC [Leadership Training for Christ; www.ntltc.org] until you got your medal. Bible Quiz is one of the hardest areas we were told you could compete in. You held fast and true and did not give up defeated the last several years that you did not get a medal. You have shown us true leadership as we watched you mature and grow in teaching the 2-Year-Old Bible Hour every week, and you are always dependable and always there. You are loyal to your friends and family and are there for them when they need you. You never complained about us up-rooting you when we had to move in to take care of your Grandmother [Nana]. You just rolled with the flow. I have watched you grow into a beautiful and Godly young woman and I am looking forward to watching what he has in store for you as you pass into a new phase of your life. I will miss your quick wit at home and our comic relief when you go off to school. Just remember to keep God in front of you, and you will always have success in your life. I love you and am very proud of you.
Mom”

From the Dad:

“To my youngest [only biological] daughter Brittany;
From the moment you were born, you were destined to be a Daddy’s Girl. Since you decided to wrap yourself up like a pretzel in the womb and had to be born cesarean, the first forty-five minutes of your life was just you and me. I had the pleasure of having you all to myself. I held your little hand and talked to you while the nurses cleaned you up, did the mesuring, weighing, and all that other newborn stuff. That was the beginning of our special relationship. We were always on the floor playing (since I am a big kid) or doing some other activity (quite often without mom). Some of the things I will always cherish and miss are; taking you to school the first day of each school year (all 12), late (and long) night talks, and the silliness that the two of us could conjure up that would drive your mother crazy. Now it is time for you to go off to college and begin your final stage of transforming from child to adult. While I will miss having you around, I am very excited to see how God will develop your talents for His glory. You have shown some of your talents with your teaching (2-Year-Old Bible Hour, R.E.Y.G.), being an active participant in the youth group [<- R.E.Y.G.], Leadership Training for Christ (9 yrs), and your involvement in other church activities. I love you very much.
Dad”

“May God give you…For every storm a rainbow, for every tear a smile,
for every care a promise, and a blessing in each trial.
From every problem life sends, a faithful friend to share,
for every sigh a sweet song, and an answer for each prayer.”

And here’s the next installment of what I started in yesterday’s post (Read that one first).

The Ninth Letter: Let us often consider that our only business in this life is to please God, that perhaps all besides is but folly and vanity. You and I have lived over forty years in the monastic life. Have we used those years in loving and serving God, who by His mercy has called us to this state and for that very end? I am sometimes filled with shame and confusion when I reflect, on the one hand, on the great favors God has done and continues to do for me; and, on the other, on the ill use I have made of them and my small advancement in the way of perfection.

Since, by His mercy, He gives us yet a little time, let us begin in earnest. Let us repair the lost time. Let us return with full assurance to that Father of mercies, who is always ready to receive us affectionately. Let us generously renounce, for the love of Him, all that is not Himself. He deserves infinitely more. Let us think of Him perpetually. Let us put all our trust in Him.

I have no doubt that we shall soon receive an abundance of His grace, with which we can do all things, and, without which we can do nothing but sin. We cannot escape the dangers which abound in life without the actual and continual help of God. Let us pray to Him for it constantly.

How can we pray to Him without being with Him? How can we be with Him but in thinking of Him often? And how can we often think of Him, but by a holy habit which we should form of it? You will tell me that I always say the same thing. It is true, for this is the best and easiest method I know. I use no other. I advise all the world to do it.

We must know before we can love. In order to know God, we must often think of Him. And when we come to love Him, we shall then also think of Him often, for our heart will be with our treasure.

It is so incredible to think that God loves us so much that he will allow us the time we need to grow spiritually in His favor. I also keep going back to the same conclusion, we must think of him constantly. With all our thoughts, all our actions, all our words, everything we do must be given as praise unto Him.

This part of the post is pretty short today because, as I mentioned before, I got my nails done yesterday and it’s a little difficult to type with them. But remember to keep checking back, I’ll continue posting the rest of the letters written by Brother Lawrence throughout the week. Toodles!

-Bee-

I get my nails done in an hour, do you think I can get the post up before I have to leave?? (And yes, I did it, with 10 minutes to spare.)

Yesterday I talked about the Ladies’ Silent Retreat I went on with my church. Well, I’m talking about it again today. So, included in the notebook that they handed out to everyone, there was a page that had 3 letters from “Practice of the Presence of God” written by Brother Lawrence (A printable version, along with other resources pertaining to this subject can be found at www.practicegodspresence.com).

There are 15 letters in all, but I won’t be blogging on all of them. I encourage you to go copy/print these letters from the aforementioned website and check out the rest for yousrself. I will only be posting the eighth letter, ninth letter, eleventh letter, twelfth letter, thirteenth letter, fourteenth letter, and fifteenth letter. I will post one letter per day, so keep checking back for the other letters. I will post each letter in its entirety, but I will underline, and highlight in purple, what I think stood out most to me. (I encourage you all to do this for yourself as well, some things may have stood out to you that didn’t stand out to me and vice versa.)

The Eighth Letter: You tell me nothing new. You are not the only one who is troubled with wandering thoughts. Our mind is extremely roving. But the will is mistress of all our faculties. She must recall our stray thoughts and carry them to God as their final end.

If the mind is not sufficiently controlled and disciplined at our first engaging in devotion, it contracts certain bad habits of wandering and dissipation. These are difficult to overcome. The mind can draw us, even against our will, to worldly things. I believe one remedy for this is to humbly confess our faults and beg God’s mercy and help.

I do not advise you to use many words and long discourses in prayer, because they are often the occasions of wandering. Hold yourself in prayer before God, like a dumb or paralytic beggar at a rich man’s gate. Let it be your business to keep your mind in the presence of the Lord. If your mind sometimes wanders and withdraws itself from Him, do not become upset. Trouble and disquiet serve rather to distract the mind than to re-collect it. The will must bring it back in tranquility. If you persevere in this manner, God will have pity on you.

One way to re-collect the mind easily in the time of prayer, and preserve it more in tranquility, is not to let it wander too far at other times. Keep your mind strictly in the presence of God. Then being accustomed to think of Him often, you will find it easy to keep your mind calm in the time of prayer, or at least to recall it from its wanderings. I have told you already of the advantages we may draw from this practice of the presence of God. Let us set about it seriously and pray for one another.

I really liked reading this letter because lately, as I lay in bed praying at night before I fall asleep, my mind will wander when I start talking to God about a certain subject. Then 10 minutes later, I’ll finally realize I’m not praying anymore and will hastily get back on track with praying. It was really frustrating me and as I read this letter for the first time today I realized that it was okay for my mind to wander, just as long as I got myself back on track.

I encourage you all to constantly keep God on your mind. Not just during your quiet times or when you pray, but all the time. Glorify Him with your actions, your words, even your thoughts. Your thoughts can be the most powerful thing God will hear. As I started blogging regularly, I noticed that I was able to concentrate on God more when I did things on the internet. Because blogging takes me a good 30 minutes to an hour everyday and then I go and read other blogs that encourage me spiritually, I am able to think about God while doing my activities on Facebook, MySpace, etc.

Thank you for reading and don’t forget, I’ll be post the other letters over the course of this week. :] Toodles!

-Bee-

Just like I promised. Isn’t it adorable?? :]

Enjoy and have a LOVELY weekend! Toodles!

-Bee-

I’m doing my blog a little early today since Daniel is over at Kaley’s house writing my farewell letter for the Senior Banquet on Sunday evening! :] I was gonna post pics of the “graffiti” we did on Daniel’s car, but they weren’t on Facebook like Daniel said they were… Hmm, I’ll have to ask him about that later.

So, I participated in a Ladies’ Silent Retreat with my church a few weekends ago and it was incredible! The first night we all received a blue notebook with passages to read, things to help us journal, just about anything to get us going during our quiet times. Well, I didn’t get the chance to read everything while I was actually at the Retreat and last night I read the last thing in the notebook. It was chapter 17 from the book Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. It concentrates on worship and how it’s “the mystical wonder”.

So, as I was reading it I underlined everything that stood out to me and that I really thought “spoke” to me. (After reading the chapter and underlining, I read the brief synopsis to the left of the first page of the chapter and saw that the Retreat coordinators suggested underlining 5 sentences that stood out. Hmm, I underlined more than that, but I’m sure no one will be angry. :P)

Here’s what I underlined:

• There are many ideas within Christian spirituality that contradict the facts of reality as I understand them. A statement like this offends some Christians because they believe if aspects of their faith do not obey the facts of reality, they are not true. But I think there are all sorts of things our hearts believe that don’t make sense to our heads.
• It comforts me to think that if we are created beings, the thing that created us would have to be greater than us, so much greater, in fact, that we would not be able to understand it. It would have to be greater than the facts of our reality, and so it would seem to us, looking out from within our reality, that it would contradict reason. But reason itself would suggest it would have to be greater than reality, or it would not be reasonable.
• When we worship God we worship a Being our life experience does not give us the tools with which to understand. If we could, God would not inspire awe.
• Eternity, for example, is not something the human mind can understand. We may be able to wrap our heads around living forever (and we can do this only because none of us have experienced death), but can we understand what it means to have never been born? I only say this to illustrate that we, as Christians, believe things we cannot explain.
• You cannot be a Christian without be a mystic.
• When we reduce Christian spirituality to math we defile the Holy.
• Many of our attempts to understand Christian faith have only cheapened it. I can no more understand the totality of God than the pancake I made for breakfast understands the complexity of me. The little we do understand, that grain of sand our minds are capable of grasping, those ideas such as God is good, God feels, God loves, God knows all, are enough to keep our hearts dwelling on His majesty and otherness forever.
• All the wonder of God happens right above our arithmetic and formula.
• I love how the Gospels start, with…religious people start[ing to get baptized] because it had become popular, and John [the Baptist] yells at them and calls them snakes. He says water won’t do anything for them, it will only get their snakeskins wet. But if they meant it, if they had faith that Jesus was coming and was real, then Jesus would ignite the kingdom life within them.
• God will ignite the kingdom life within me, the Bible says. That’s mysticism. It isn’t a formula that I am figuring out. It is something God does.
• I laid myself down…and reached my hand directly out toward where? I don’t know. There is no up and down. There has never been an up and down. Things like up and down were invented so as not to scare children, so as to reduce mystery to math. The truth is we do not know there is an end to material existence. It may go on forever, which is something the mind cannot understand.
• We have two choices in the face of such big beauty: terror and awe. And this is precisely why we attempt to chart God, because we want to be able to predict Him, to dissect Him, to carry Him around in our dog and pony show.
• We are too proud to feel awe and too fearful to feel terror. We reduce Him to math so we don’t have to fear Him, and yet the Bible tells us fear is the appropriate response, that it is the beginning of wisdom.
• I like that scene in the movie Dead Poets Society in which Mr. Keating, an English instructor at an elite preparatory school, asks his students to rip out the “Introduction to Poetry” essay from their literature textbooks. The essayist had instructed students in a method of grading poems on a sliding scale, complete with the use of a grid, thus reducing art for the heart into arithmetic for the head.
• Too much of our time is spent trying to chart God on a grid, and too little is spent allowing our hearts to feel awe. By reducing Christian spirtuality to formula, we deprive our hearts of wonder.
• When I think about the complexity of the Trinity, the three-in-one God, my mind cannot understand, but my heart feels wonder in abundant satisfaction. It is as thought my heart, in the midst of its euphoria, is saying to my mind, There are things you cannot understand, and you must learn to live with this. Not only must you learn to live with this, you must learn to enjoy this.
• I need wonder to explain what is going to happen to me, what is going to happen to us when this thing is done, when our shift is over and our kids’ kids are still on the earth listening to their crazy rap music. I need something mysterious to happen after I die. I need to be somewhere else after I die, somewhere with God, somewhere that wouldn’t make any sense if it were explained to me right now.
• Wonder is that feeling we get when we let go of our silly answers, our mapped out rules that we want God to follow.

I almost want to apologize for making that so long because the people that I know read this aren’t typicially Christian and are teenagers and don’t like to read a lot of stuff, but I’m not going to because I believe what I have to say has a purpose and there’s going to be someone that will benefit from this somewhere.

The reason I wanted to make this today’s blog post is because, as I started delving into the pages of my Bible (and attempting to read it in its entirety) recently, I realized that I didn’t understand what was supposed to happen after I died. I just couldn’t even imagine what Heaven would be like or what eternity would be like. And it was really frustrating me. After reading this, I feel comforted knowing that we’re not supposed to understand it.

That’s what God wants, He wants us to be so confused about Him so that we will search for answers ourselves and ask questions and build our faiths. Everything is done for a reason, whether we want to believe it or not. :P

During Newspaper today I was thinking about what else could make this blog POP. So, I went searching for spiritual quotes and I found some good ones. If you don’t mind reading a bit further, check ‘em out! :]

• “Don’t think of God in terms of forms, because forms are limited and God is unlimited.” - C.S. Lewis
• “Each person comes into this world with a specific destiny–he has something to fulfill, some message has to be delivered, some work has to be completed. You are not here accidentally–you are here meaningfully. There is a purpose behind you. The whole intends to do something through you.” - Osho
• “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” - Joseph Campbell
• “A flash of enlightenment offers a preview of coming attractions, but when it fades, you will see more clearly what separates you from that state — your compulsive habits, outmoded beliefs, false associations, and other mental structures. Just when our lives are starting to get better, we may feel like things are getting worse - because for the first time we see clearly what needs to be done.” - Dan Millman
• “You must not let your life run in the ordinary way; do something that nobody else has done, something that will dazzle the world. Show that God’s creative principle works in you.” - Paramahansa Yogananda
• “To touch the soul of another human being is to walk on holy ground.” - Stephen Covey
• “Healing does not mean going back to the way things were before, but rather allowing what is now to move us closer to God.” - Ram Dass
• “We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking, only to learn that it is God who is shaking them.” - Unknown
• “Never limit your view of life by any past experience.” - Ernest Holmes
• “Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.” - Chinese proverb
• “We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey.” - Stephen Covey

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it, come again tomorrow! :D Toodles!

-Bee-

Seriously, who cares?? I wish more people would read it, but ah well, it helps me in my times of need, so I guess that’ll suffice. I just hope there doesn’t come a time when I seriously do need some advice on here, haha.

So, tonight I had Bible Study and it was AMAZING! I took about 6 pages of notes and couldn’t write fast enough, haha. Pastor Reed and Bishop Alexander are so amazing at speaking the Word of God. They’re just so excited about sharing the love of the Lord and it’s totally contagious! I definitely needed this lesson, too because I’ve been struggling spiritually lately and they delivered a LOT of things I needed to hear.

First read this poem… If you’ve read “Footprints in the Sand” you’ll understand this one. If you haven’t read that poem, I strongly encourage you to go Google it now because it’s such a powerful and wonderful masterpiece.

“Butt Prints in the Sand”

“One night I had a wondrous dream,
One set of footprints there was seen,
The footprints of the Goddess they were,
But mine were not along the shore.

But then some stranger prints appeared,
and I asked Her, “What have we here?
These prints are large and round and neat
But much too big to be from feet.”

“My child,” She said in somber tones,
“For miles I carried you alone.
I challenged you to walk in faith,
But you refused and made me wait.”

“You would not learn, you would not grow,
The walk of faith, you would not know,
So I got tired, I got fed up,
And there I dropped you on your butt.

“Because in life, there comes a time.
When one must fight, and one must climb,
When one must rise and take a stand,
Or leave their butt prints in the sand.”

That was only the start of the night and it just got better from there.

The outline of my notes go like this:

• Read John 7:18.
• Worldly titles mean nothing, God is the only judge that matters.
• Jesus didn’t come to be sweet, he came to save our lives from sin.
• If it can be found in the Bible, it has to be true.
• Faith comes by hearing.
• Don’t play with God. The people that go in and out of the church aren’t the ones playing with God, the ones playing with God are those that come to church all the time but act/pretend that everything is okay and their lives are perfect.
• I’m preachin’ to stay alive!
• We’re the only army that kills our own.
• If you take the wounded soldiers and heal them, instead of sending them back to Basic Training, they will fight harder and better than before.
• Restore me and put me back in my rightful place.
• We are many men, but one body. (The eye cannot be without the head.)
• Read Galatians 6:1.
• The church is not waiting for the world to get saved, the world is waiting on the church to get saved.
• The only thing we want to get to is Jesus.
• For God to use you, they all have to know your TRUE name. (Where you came from.)
• There is no hurt like church hurt.
• The spirit is strong, but the flesh is weak.
• If you see your brother overtaken in a fall, you know he doesn’t wanna be there. He was pulled there, pushed there, and/or shoved there, but we know for a fact that he didn’t go there voluntarily.
• Usually we’re trying to attack the “drugs” and not the problems.
• Knowing the Word is not the problem, it is having someone who will actually walk with you spiritually!!!
• If he has the power to deliver me, then he gave ME the power to deliver others.
• We’re SO into the fact that we have been delivered that we refuse to go back to what He delivered us from.
• Mercies are renewed daily.
• You don’t always have to make it to church, you can easily do it where you are.
• 1 day is as 1,000 years and 1,000 years is as 1 day to the Lord.
• Your salvation is tied to Him and not yourself.
• If you don’t teach the blood, you won’t have the power.
• Quit preaching and start teaching.
• God has a sense of humor because sometimes what you’re looking at isn’t what you see and what you see isn’t what you’re looking at.
• What it takes for you isn’t what is may take for others.
• Whatever is between you and God and the altar is between you and God and the altar.
• When you haven’t done ALL that God asks you to do, then you really haven’t done what God asks you to do.
• It doesn’t matter how the Holy Spirit saved you, it matters how you surrender your life to Him.

And that’s just what I got down. You may not understand everything you just read, but I would love to unpack all of that and discuss this one-on-one because the conviction of Christ in someone’s life and in their soul is so beautiful. I would do it even amidst the harshest of criticisms. If Jesus was sent to be crucified on the cross, then I can at least go through some pain for him, too.

Oh, and if you read my post fom yesterday, you may have seen that mine and my boyfriend’s 2 year and 8 month anniversary was today. It was SUCH a fabulous day. During 3rd period, me and 4 other girls in my Newspaper class went out and “graffitied” Daniel’s car. He said he was gonna take pics for me, so maybe I’ll have them up in a future post if it doesn’t rain tomorrow and ruin it all. =/

I love you guys more than you know, whether you’re actually there and reading this everytime I post something new or not, I do. Stay tuned for more blogs and hopefully more vlogs, too. Toodles!

-Bee-

Okay, so I know that back in my first post I said I was going to write everyday I didn’t post a vlog… Well, obviously I haven’t been doing that, but I’m going to actually do it this time. I have realized lately that blogging really helps me understand what’s going on in my life, whether people are reading it or not doesn’t matter to me. :P

Disclaimer: If I happen to offend someone by what I post here, oh well. You decided to read it, so it’s your prerogative. Don’t leave nasty comments about what I post when I clearly state RIGHT HERE that I don’t want them nor do I care if I get them. Thank you.

So, in EXACTLY 5 weeks will be my last day of high school. I am beyond excited! I got my tentative fall schedule in the mail today, so it’s all finally setting in with me. This Sunday is Senior Sunday at my church where the graduating Seniors are honored and then we have a ceremony Sunday night. My best friend and boyfriend are writing my farewell letter and Kaley already told me she’s gonna cry. Aww, man, I hate crying. =/ BUT I can’t lie and say I’m not excited. I’ve been dreaming about this day since I was in 7th grade and entered the Youth Group for the first time. :] Then last year I was a Junior and planned the Senior Banquet and now the Juniors are planning MINE! Man, is that scary or what?? I’m pretty sure my mom’s gonna cry, too. Oh, and did I mention that all 5 billion members of my family will be there Sunday morning?? *sheesh*

Let’s count them off, shall we?? Nvm, maybe we won’t because I’m not even sure who all is coming… Is that bad?? :P Ah well, all I know is that it’s a lot and I just can’t wait.

Sorry if I jump around a lot in this post, I need to get back into the blogging mode, haha. So I LOVE thunderstorms, it’s fantastic. When we were pulling out of the church parking lot tonight there were a bunch of lightning strikes all over the sky and then a HUGE one came down and struck down somewhere a few miles away. It was SOOOO cool. Man, I wish I’d had my camera. What a GREAT way to capture God’s amazing (yet beautiful) power.

Tomorrow’s gonna be a GREAT day, I can just feel it. :] It’s the 2 year and 8 month anniversary with the boyfriend, I get to write all over his car windows and ask him to Prom (don’t tell him, it’s a secret), and then we MIGHT get to go to Bible Study. I’m not sure though because my Nana has something to go to at 6:30 and that’s usually when we leave, so maybe Mom can take us?? I sure hope so!

I hope I can make a vlog sometime soon. All my YouTube viewers, be on the lookout, something is coming soon. If it’s not a vlog, then it’ll be the vid of my dance recital on May 7th.

OH! Prom is next weekend, too, I’m pumped about that. :] I’ll give more info on that later. Love you guys to DEATH. Toodles!

-Bee-

…about what I’m supposed to do.

I am beyond confused about where my life is taking me and what I’m going to do with it. After getting off the phone with Daniel, I realized that I just need a break. I’m not talking about a break from school or anything like that… I need a break from life, where I can just escape into the peaceful beauty of the world God created.

I am constantly living in fear, it’s not as bad as it was last year, but what’s the difference?? It’s still there, the level of intensity doesn’t change that fact. After briefly pointing all this out to a friend in my Math class, I realized something else. I’m very naive and stupid. (Isn’t it great that I’m FINALLY realizing this now??)

Also, I’m in the midst of writing my last story for the high school paper and the teacher even said my story sounded whiny. If you read my last blog, that’s what I wrote about, except in detail… Maybe I’ll post it?? I prolly should, so I can read it again someday and see how far I’ve come. I’m not gonna lie though, I sound very similar to a spoiled brat who didn’t get what she wanted for high school. Ah well, what’s new??

Again, I need a break… Point blank. Toodles and sweet dreams everyone.

-Bee-